Dare to Date.

Dating is a part of culture. Or is it? 'Hanging out' has become the new form of dating. But there seem to be some problems with simply 'hanging out'. When you spend time only hanging out, you miss out on real opportunities to get to know the person. You miss out on conversations that can only happen in a dating situation. You have to compete for attention. On a date, you have the attention of the individual you asked out.

So, what constitutes a date? You may have heard of the 3 P's: Planned, paired off, and paid for.

Interestingly enough, in the Proclamation to the World, there are another set of P's given. A father's responsibility is to preside, protect, and provide.

How do these 3 P's match up?

Paired off = Protect
Planned = Preside
Paid for = Provide

Dating is good practice for marriage. Dare to date! It may just give you insights as you search for someone you can spend forever with.

Boys or Men?

A parent is playing with their 4 year old son at the park. The boy trips, and falls on the bark. What is the parent's typical response?

"You are okay, let's go play on the swings."

What are we really teaching by giving that response?

"You fell down, and even if it hurt, don't acknowledge your feelings. Your feelings aren't valid, so we are going to pretend you never fell."

When that boy gets to be a teenager, and he starts dating, how can you expect him to be a man? He has been taught that his feelings aren't valid, and that he can't show the tender side of his emotions. We are teaching young boys not to show emotion, but then when they become men, we expect them to all of a sudden display all these emotions - compassion, love, and tenderness - especially when it comes to how to treat a lady.

I am not saying that we should baby our children, but it wouldn't be wrong to acknowledge what they are feeling. Acknowledge what happened - "You fell down!" Acknowledge the emotion you may see on their face - "You look sad." Let them know that it is okay to feel sad, but don't dwell on it. Acknowledge, and move on.

Then we are raising boys to be men, right from the beginning.

A Fish Out of Water

Culture is a part of growing up. We become accustomed to society, and the way those around us live. But what happens when we are pulled out of our own culture? Our culture is like water is to a fish. We don't realize what we are living in until we are pulled out of it, or there is some dramatic change to our culture.  One culture that is very individualized is the family we grew up in. Each family has their quirks, and things that set them apart from others. Man, I sure love my family! As I thought about my family's culture, I realized a few things that I have carried on, even though I am living away from my family:

•  Religious beliefs.
• My Dad's sarcasm and corny jokes.
• My brother's use of pick up lines.
• My Mom's work ethic.
• My brother's love of cooking. 

Think about your own family. How have they influenced you? How would you be different without their culture?

Be Happy Now!

"Complaining is an adult's way of crying."

I heard this phrase in class, and it has been stuck on my mind ever since. Children cry for attention - whether that be to satisfy a need or want. As adults, we are generally doing the same thing when we complain. We are seeking attention for a variety of reasons. Elder Holland, an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said, "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse." As Brother Williams pointed out in class today, "Nobody likes to be around a complainer. It's not sexy or attractive." How do we learn to stop complaining? I believe it is all in our attitude. Happiness is a choice! The only difference between a burden and a blessing is our attitude. One thing that has personally helped me is to keep a gratitude journal, and visibly count the ways the Lord has blessed me that day. When we take the time to realize and acknowledge all of the good in our lives, we come to understand that there are no bad days. There may be bad moments, or hard hoops we have to jump through, but the good will always outweigh the bad. And if it doesn't, it's not the end. So be happy now, and stop complaining. Complaining won't change anything, and you will only make yourself more miserable. 

 If you are interested in reading or listening to the rest of Elder Holland's address, here it is! The Tongue of Angels

Defining the Family.

In our changing world today, it can be hard to define what is truth, and what is not. There are five main ways we can come to believe something is true:

• Empiricism (experiencing something for ourselves)
• Rationalism
• Scientific Method (combination of empiricism and rationalism)
• Authority (trusting the experts)
• Revelation

Which source of truth do we rely on the most? In my personal life, I rely on sources of revelation. We are blessed to live in a day where we have a living prophet who receives revelation from God. One of the things we have received revelation on is the family. The world's definition of family is changing, and the importance of families is being severely undermined. In 1995, President Gordon B. Hinckley gave "The Family: A Proclamation To The World." I know that everything he spoke of is true. The family is central to the creator's plan, and that plan is for everyone, not just members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

THE FAMILY

---

A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.