Boys or Men?

A parent is playing with their 4 year old son at the park. The boy trips, and falls on the bark. What is the parent's typical response?

"You are okay, let's go play on the swings."

What are we really teaching by giving that response?

"You fell down, and even if it hurt, don't acknowledge your feelings. Your feelings aren't valid, so we are going to pretend you never fell."

When that boy gets to be a teenager, and he starts dating, how can you expect him to be a man? He has been taught that his feelings aren't valid, and that he can't show the tender side of his emotions. We are teaching young boys not to show emotion, but then when they become men, we expect them to all of a sudden display all these emotions - compassion, love, and tenderness - especially when it comes to how to treat a lady.

I am not saying that we should baby our children, but it wouldn't be wrong to acknowledge what they are feeling. Acknowledge what happened - "You fell down!" Acknowledge the emotion you may see on their face - "You look sad." Let them know that it is okay to feel sad, but don't dwell on it. Acknowledge, and move on.

Then we are raising boys to be men, right from the beginning.